My Birth Experience

It has been a while since I posted, and while I’m spending many hours feeding my child these days I’ve been reflecting on keeping a record of my experiences. So my plan is to write up some more to this blog.

Where better to start than with the birth of my son, just over 2 months ago.

It wasn’t straight forward but I guess no birth is. My due date came and went, and there were no signs of his imminent arrival. I’d gone the whole pregnancy without stretch marks, but at 40 weeks a little web of purple began to grow around my belly button. I assumed this was where he was getting so big and I joked he had my sense of direction and was trying to escape the wrong way! I said this to the midwives I saw and they each smiled.

One time, my bump was measured smaller on the chart, but my midwife said it was probably where the head was engaged. The next week another midwife saw the chart and said she would’ve sent me for a growth scan if it has been her, but as her measurement was following the growth line she didn’t send me either.

At 41+5 weeks the day of my supposed induction had arrived. I was quite emotional about it the night before, I’d really hoped he would arrive on his own. It also meant going into hospital alone, with the current Covid restrictions partners were only allowed in at 4cm dilated.

The morning came and I called the hospital at 8.15am, they were busy so would call me later. I called again at 1pm, they confirmed I was on the list and they would call me back. At 5pm I was about to ring again when my phone buzzed.

The midwife explained that there wasn’t enough space for everyone who was giving birth and also due in. I was asked to attend the assessment centre so the doctor could advise what to do next. It sounded like there were a few of us all in the same situation. I got to the centre at 5.40pm and was seen by a midwife at 7.00pm.

I had the usual checks and everything seemed fine. The midwife mentioned I had been for a growth scan, but I confirmed I hadn’t. She assumed I had from the chart. She thought I should’ve gone in on two different occasions. Given what happened next, I wish I had too.

The midwife kept me updated, but I had to sit and wait until 9pm for a doctor to be free. The doctor was called Heba (I didn’t catch her full name) and she explained she was going to check on the baby then decide what would happen next as there was no space in the labour wards. Everything seemed to be going fine, then she asked me to wait a moment while she got a portable scanning machine.

She wheeled it in, and I was none the wiser this was anything unusual. Heba scanned me belly and then said:

“It is what I thought, this baby is breech, his bum is engaged.”

I was in shock, so many midwives had been sure he was head down. And the pressure around my belly button then made sense. Heba gave me three options: 1) Caesarean (safest for the baby), 2) Induced vaginally (though she would need to check if the hospital allowed this) or 3) wait for Monday to try turning the baby around – but she was concerned there wasn’t much space left inside for him to move.

I was given 15 minutes to call James and make a decision. I remember pacing the corridors in shock, explaining all this over the phone to James He said he would go with whatever I thought best. There was no way I could go through labour knowing that my baby could suffocate at the last minute, so the Caesarean seemed the best option.

Returning to the assessment room, I gave my choice through watery eyes and had some blood taken. Naively, I had not prepared myself for this option at all. But fortunately, everything happened so quickly that I didn’t have much time to think about it.

I sat and waited outside the assessment room, and then around 10pm a midwife took me to a delivery suite – they had found a room for me considering the situation. (It wasn’t until later James pointed out it was half painted, something a midwife had apologised for when I first arrived, so the room must’ve been under construction during the day!)

In the delivery room, I was tested for Covid and then given a gown and some compression socks to wear. James was allowed to join me not long after, so he would be with me when my surgery came up. They were having to slot it in somewhere in the night, so now it was a waiting game.

A little later, we were moved out of our own room and onto a ward, the private room was needed for someone else and I didn’t mind at all. We were in the end bay, all the blue curtains were drawn.

James reminded me that after this operation I would have a baby to look after, so suggested I tried to get some sleep. At approximately 2am the bay was filled with a midwife, a doctor and an anaesthetist.

The doctor was asking if I had questions and asked me to sign a consent form, and the anaesthetist was asking about allergies and asked if I had questions, all while the midwife was sticking needles in my hand. I was half asleep so kept looking to James to check if we had questions. The midwife told me I was next, then left for a little while.

When she returned, she told me to get a nappy and hat for the baby and follow her. This was it.

James was led to another room with a very nice midwife, who pointed out to the one who walked me to the theatre that I still had my knickers on! James was taken to get scrubs and a hat on. I walked into a very bright room, with a big bed in the middle and tables of equipment around it.

The bed had steps up to it, and I was told to sit on the edge ready for the injection. The nice midwife who we’d met outside was comforting me, patting my hand, and I asked if it would hurt and she said only a little bit. Another midwife was hooking me up to something from the tube in my hand.

They were both telling me to lean forward, shoulders down and back arched out. The one comforting me had said the wrong thing and the other corrected her, I wondered if this midwife’s sole role was to comfort because she was very good at it! I was shaking so much, part nerves and part cold.

I was watching other members of the surgical team rushing around preparing equipment, I couldn’t believe how many people there were there – with the sole purpose of helping me and my baby right now.

The injection didn’t hurt as much as I thought it might, a bit like a dental injection, and I was then directed to lay down. The anaesthetist asked me to lift my legs, which I could at first, then he asked me again and I couldn’t. I couldn’t feel anything.

A sheet of blue paper was placed just in front of my face, and I could no longer see my body or all the people involved.

James joined my side, and in his pink scrubs and green hat I didn’t recognise him! It was very disorientating.

I felt some tugging and pulling in my body, and was so relieved to have James there to comfort me. I heard the midwife say he was coming out, then I heard him scream. It happened so quick and it was the most surreal moment of my life. I could hear him but I couldn’t see him.

He was taken to be cleaned up, checked and weighed. I told James to go to him, which he did and took a few photos, but came back to me. He said there were lots of people helping our son so he wanted to make sure I was okay. The midwife had my phone with her, and also took lots of photos. I remember shouting to James, “Does he have hair?!” The team stitch me up.

James was led out of the theatre while the surgical team moved me out. They rolled me onto another bed, about three people each side of me and they started singing “Rocking all over the world”, and they discussed rocking and rolling me over!

I was amazed by all the people involved. It was 2.30am and they were so energised and buzzing, it was a great atmosphere to give birth and I am thankful to everyone.

I was taken to a recovery room, where I was met by James and our new baby. The midwife helped me to feed him, though he wouldn’t latch, and we had 40 minutes with James while the staff were doing tests and completing notes.

Then it was time to say goodbye, and T and I were wheeled off to a ward and James went home to contemplate his new life as a father! I spent the next three hours cuddling my baby and trying to calm him from crying (mainly because I couldn’t move and didn’t know what else to do!)

Meeting my child was an incredible, amazing experience. I was completely overwhelmed by the whole thing.

It was not the birth story I hoped for, and while I knew some things wouldn’t go to plan I never imagined by this much! I did feel grief for the experience I hoped to have, but was so grateful that my baby arrived safe and well.